Thinking back over the years and all that has happened to me, I wonder, “What is my purpose?” Am I here to truly teach others? Why do so many have these same abilities and yet little is known about them? Studies can be done to show the brain reacting to abilities–why is this not a science yet?
Why do people believe in a higher being? Or that a higher being will do for you if you pray to it? Or even that an evil being exists to counteract the higher being? And still, many people still can’t believe what is in front of them? I was raised Christian and taught to go to Church every Sunday and love one another. But people are flawed, and some of my biggest challenges in life have come from people expecting me to be a certain way. I take the road less traveled and walk with the others who have chosen that road. I hope to gain knowledge from others as well as share mine, hoping we can grow together and help others starting on the same road.
Was I Cursed?
Because of my religious background, I did not believe that my abilities were from God at first. I was taught that Satan will trick you in so many ways and that he will use those who should be trusted against you. Truly, I believe that Heaven and Hell exist (I have been on the outskirts of both). I have done the Church tradition; and I was even a youth leader. I trusted those around me, including the preacher. But then this same community called me a witch, and some called me an angel of Satan. There were threats to come to my house and hang me as a witch. Wow, so old school. I have met many who wanted to make my life a living hell.
As a result of the threats, I fell into a deep depression. But I also \spent that time searching and praying and getting to know God. I am grateful for that experience because it helped make me become who I am today. The hateful and mean can make one do some soul searching.
Finding a New Home
At first, I felt I was lost and felt I had done everything wrong. I truly thought Satan had a hold on me. I prayed and searched for answers. That leads me to a religious community that put some amazing people in the right path for me. I met preachers and spouses of preachers who had the same abilities; they told me that I was God’s child and very special and to not let others keep me from my job on earth. I have a true heart for God and helping others. But I am not, though, like everyone else. I haven’t really been one to do what other people tell me to. But I do believe we will ultimately be judged for our actions, and I try to do the right thing.
None of us know exactly what God has planned for us or exactly what we are to do to serve. We just have faith and live our daily lives and do right by others. God guides me each day to be where I need to be and I depend on him to help me each day.
I have some amazing people in my life through faith communities, and they are my biggest supporters as well as my prayer warriors. Also, I enjoy talking with them and being able to have a spiritual conversation without feeling judged or condemned. I love that I can pray aloud with my friends and be myself.
Because of the negative experiences I’ve had, I create a protective white light shield around me whenever I go out in the world. I have learned I can put out an energy that can either push someone away and they not want to interact with me or send out energy and make them want to talk to me. I am a fixer. If you are broken, I want to help. I am broken too, and I do not want anyone to feel as I have (and sometimes still do). I am still occasionally attacked by those who, I guess, have nothing better to do??? Finally, I do not believe my purpose is to please people — I want to do what is needed, and when my time comes I will pass over and do my job in the spiritual world.
The Road So Far
My abilities started years ago as a child. We lived in a two-story house and my bedroom was at the top of the stairs with my door faced the landing. Every night I would hear someone coming up the stairs. Sounded like a high-heeled shoe on one foot and nothing on the other. Every time I thought I would see a lady come up the stairs, but there was nothing. My mom told me it was the house settling. Typical parenting from a busy mom who is my Hero to this day. She did not understand anything about spirits then. She raised me perfectly and is very supportive of me and my abilities.
My second interaction was with my aunt after she passed away. Every weekend we would stay at my grandmother’s house, and sometimes my aunt and uncle and 2 cousins would come down to stay. On Sunday mornings, my aunt always made sure she was up before everyone and would make coffee. I saw that as my opportunity to spend time with her. She would put me on her lap and ask about school and other things. To me, she was an angel. Very loving and soft-spoken and genuine. I have heard her angry too– she was a mom. She passed away when I was seven.
The next weekend I stayed at my grandmother’s. I will have you know that a white angelic light went down the hall to the kitchen just like she did every time. I lay there at first, thinking, did I just see that? How do I know that it is my aunt when all I saw was a light moving? I knew in my heart it was her. As I made my way to the kitchen, the light was gone. I could feel her but not see her. Of course, no one believed me when I told them–it’s hard to wrap your head around something you do not understand.
Before my first husband and I were married, his grandmother passed away. He lived with her and we knew what it sounded like when she came down the hall to go to bed. We would hear her at night sometimes coming down the hall to her room, which was our room after her passing. I never saw her or communicated with her. I just knew she was there. After a while, she stopped walking down the hall.
I became pregnant and that is when my abilities started changing. I would know things and feel things and was developing that sixth sense. At the time, I thought it was women’s intuition or mother’s intuition. I trusted it and never gave it a second thought. When I became pregnant with twins the second time, and things really heightened. I still did not think anything of it.